What happens when you fall for someone who isn’t all that available? You keep the guise of “friend zone” alive and well. Frig I fell like some stupid teenager who is stuck between two worlds. My dear Amy. …. I do love you but it’s kind of a really affectionate friend love and then some.

Time to get my mind right.



Good morning on the second to last day of this year. I haven’t posted much but hey I have nothing to do today. I am doing well in school and handling my depressions quite well.

I am looking at the media lately and thinking that there is too much distraction going on.

So to the government I say, stop f*****g us over we just want to live our peaceful lives.

To men I say, women are our equals and now are demanding to be treated that way. Religion’s abuse of them has come to an end. So has the attitude that we own them.

To religon, specifically christianity, I say hey, start teaching what Jesus actually said and not a bunch of cherry picked crap that you spent hours digging out of the epistles and old testament. And christians need to get it together and start teaching by example.

I could go on. But the message always comes in parts.

In the 1960′s a cultural revolution was attempted. Now it’s time to make it happen.

God Bless


So I started an AutoCad class two weeks ago. I want to be in a higher income bracket. I used to love cooking but my passion for that died out. Too much bs in the restaurant business. Which is sort of ironic as recently restaurants are closing in this province because of lack of staff . I could only say “Hey pay your employees better and stop treating them like property.”

This course is very difficult and challenging. I need that. I had to give up my living alone status and now I have freakin room mates, One of whom is an alcoholic and a growing pain in the ass. He says he’s leaving to go live with his girlfriend in a week or so. I miss living alone already. If I win the lotto I’ll get my own place hahaha. I don’t buy tickets so that would be a real miracle.

I have to discipline myself to keep at it. My day doesn’t end at the end of class. It continues because I have to learn a lot of this program on my own time.

Aside from the bitching I’m coming into a time of life where I can soar. This was the whole idea. I fear i may have to leave someone behind but at this point the changes may be too much for her. It’s not sad it’s just the way of life.

Much love to all who may venture across this post.

God bless.


This is just an observational rant about the people and places I’ve seen. Mostly people stuck in a fear of God that isn’t what Jesus didn’t really say. Mankind took his message and rule booked it.

Two women get into a car and drive away. They are comfortable with who they are. They love eachother and have no qualms about it. But the society they live in still has a problem. Women aren’t supposed to love women. Men aren’t supposed to love men. And the animosity used to defend this standard is astounding. Gay healing camps exist where the homosexual is ripped from the homosexual. Lesbians are “cured “. Only to eventually be reverted back. What is the answer to that question. I have no idea but the answers from the Christian Right seem to border on stoning them. I don’t get it. I read that Jesus said love one another as I have loved you. Not persecute one another until
Everyone is the same as you. Please explain. And don’t start with your cherry picked phrases that you conveniently pull out of scripture that prove your point even though you read them out of context. So someone please explain.