Sometimes one has to look at what the real problem is. I am not the most ambitious person alive. I am happy with a somewhat quiet and private life. Or at least I was until recently. Now I have an urge to change things and have fun with what’s left of my life. Finances have always been a problem for me.

I never seem to make enough to get to the proverbial next level. To walk away from the rent and hydro and other necessities we deem as our need to survive. Ironic I think. That one needs to get finances in order before one can pretty much walk away from that world. Go figure.

What does this mean? have we all become nothing but consumers. We consume food, gas, hydro, water, products, and a host of other crap most of which we don’t really need. I know this subject has been blogged about, considered and pretty much discarded in the past. I am certainly not the first person to be concerned about the effects of consumerism on the individual. We want, want ,want and want.

Actually I always just wanted my cabin in the woods. But I want one in several different countries. Again Ironic.

So where is all this leading/ well for starters it leads me to want to change my circumstances. i am not happy with my work or most of the people around me. I am claustrophobic on my own home. Or maybe just in my own skin. All I know is that it is time to change my outlook on my life and my attitude along with it.

In the past year or so I have been insane and at times almost suicidal. And this madness is coming to a close. I finally feel my head back on straight and find that my real problems are mostly financial. Things have to go.

I must quit smoking. It has killed people close to me and is killing me.

I must stop being a slave to the dollar. It is a commodity not an entity.

I must remember to see something beautiful everyday.

Today I saw a bunch of teenagers throwing a football around in the street. Not a video game in sight. they wer laughing and running and playing. that was something beautiful.

Have a great day to anyone who happens to come across this.

It all can be overcome.