Make your own title for this post, I’ve run out of ideas.
Not completely i just didn’t feel like searching my imagination to find one. And it doesn’t really matter anyways.
i have had downers uppers and epiphanies lately. Well actually for a while now. I have search for friends, lovers and all that and still come home to my place and sleep alone. And that’s not such a bad thing anymore.
I have found over time that sex complicates. I have been in many relationships where sex commenced too early and found that it blinded both parties to the fact that we didn’t want to be in that relationship in the first place. Case in point would be my recently buggered up marriage. i can honestly say that there was little or no happiness for the whole 7 years and that if we hadn’t started screwing right off the bat then the relationship itself would never really have started. But to those of us who are somewhat emotionally needy then sex came in and we were both into being with eachother when in fact we probably wouldn’t even have been friends if we hadn’t had sex in the first place. we are two very different people with very different sets of values. I can honestly say that she is not someone I would like to be around on a day to day basis.
Getting to know someone out side of the bedroom is now an essential thing for me. Not that I’m in the market for a relationship right now however the standard has to be there. I think that when God created sex he should have put a warning label on it. “Can cause emotional ties and upheaval. It seems to have become the centre of too many relationships and communication and the general passion for life has taken a back seat.
I know a woman with three kids from three different men who admits that the relationships went south shortly after the kids were born. This doesn’t surprise me. The first piece of advice I gave her was CONDOMS!!!! Then instead of offering her further advice i engaged her in a conversation about putting sex aside for the first month of any relationship to see if she really thought the men she was seeing were in any way what she wanted in her life.
I see it all over this tiny rural community. Teen moms realizing that they have regrets because the boy’s that knocked them up took off and any dreams they had were up in smoke because they wanted to keep their kids and hopefully have a white picket fence life.
I see adults having affairs trying to stimulate some passion because their relationships have gone south.
All this because of an over importance placed on sex. I’m not saying that sex isn’t important in a relationship. In fact it is quite essential. But too many relationships are started and based on sex and not on any form of love or passion.
I hope i don’t sound too sanctimonious in this post it was just some thing that has been on my mind alot lately. And as i am rediscovering my passion for living I find that I have to eradicate those things that get my life stuck in the mud.
Good Night and Thank You